Tag: dating advice
Ghosting, catfishing and breadcrumbing. What on earth do they mean? The worlds of online dating and relationships are full of dedicated lingo to describe situations and behaviours, but what do they mean in IRL? Here's your Maverick Matches 101 guide to the online dating lexicon.
IRLLiterally 'In Real Life'. Commonly used to refer to taking your conversation offline and meet in person. The question is, though, are they just as attractive IRL?
BAEEither an acronym for 'before anyone else', or a shortening of 'babe'. When someone refers to you as their BAE it's good news.
CatfishingNot a pleasant one: the term 'catfish' refers to an online dater creating a fake persona, using false photos, and taking in other online daters. As well as for personal kicks, it can be done as part of a con. We have a team dedicated to checking that all online dating profiles on Maverick Matches are genuine but if you have any concerns you can hit the 'Report' button which appears on every dating profile.
GhostingJust when you thought everything was going smoothly, you find that conversation is suddenly cut off and you hear no more from your online match. You've been ghosted.
Slow FadeLike ghosting but slower. They take longer and longer to reply to your online messages, their messages get shorter and less detailed and then, eventually, contact ceases.
HauntingThe return of the ghost. You've moved on from being ghosted and suddenly they pop right back in to your inbox.
BreadcrumbingThe odd flirty message here and there leads you on to think that something romantic could happen, but then it never comes to pass. This is breadcrumbing; letting you believe that it's going to turn in to something serious when they have no intention of taking it any further or meeting IRL.
BenchingAlso to be translated as 'they're just not that into you', benching refers to when someone keeps in touch but never gets around to meeting you. Plans might fall through, they cancel on you, an emergency turns up. Basically, they like the attention they get from you and want to stay in touch 'just in case' but you're not their BAE. Sorry
FreeclimbingAha, so you've matched with someone online and you want to find out everything about them. You start to Google, find them on social media and then 'liking' their photos from ten years ago. The problem is that pesky little notification that lets them know they're being researched. If this is you it might be worth reading the Muddy Matches blog on 'The pros and cons of researching your date'.
Sunday Night FeverSunday evening is one of the busiest times of the week in the online dating world. Impending doom about Monday morning, a weekend spent alone and a few spare hours spark conversation like never before. Cue your inbox being deluged with messages from anyone and everyone.
Just when you thought it was going so well. Date after date has seen sparks fly, and you're beginning to think that this really might be 'the one'. And then suddenly, he or she does something - just one little thing - and your eyes are opened and your new-found love evaporates. We surveyed a select group of daters to find out what their dating deal breakers are. Let us know yours!
1. Being rude to waiting staff
It's a classic. They seem to treat everyone with respect, yet when they order in a restaurant they treat the waiting staff with as much respect as they would a rat. We're thinking snapping their fingers, forgetting their Ps + Qs, talking down to them and rolling their eyes at their apparent 'stupidity'. Base line; if they can't treat a waiter with respect, are they really going to treat you right in the long term?
2. Shooting a pigeon/mouse/rabbit out of the window
Remember that scene in Friends where Gary shoots the pigeon from his bed, thus destroying Phoebe's love for him? Enough said.
3. Flirting with your friends
You thought they turned on the charm just for you? Nope, you're just not that special.
4. Having a different life plan
You want a brood of offspring to rival the Von Trapps; they want dinner a deux for the rest of their life. It's important to know what their long-term life plan is before you get in too deep.
5. Inviting friends along to your date
If you thought that it was just you and them going out for drinks but every single time it turns into a group outing then you need to stop and think... why?
6. Trying to run a cyclist off the road
... and justifying it with 'well, cyclists don't pay road tax'.
7. Sharing everything on social media
You thought you were out on a romantic country walk but suddenly everyone on Facebook has seen you attempt to climb that tree. Do you really want your relationship shared with the rest of the world? Time to set some ground rules.
8. Being miserly
If they can't shell out for a couple of cappuccinos and you find yourself chasing to supermarket after supermarket to get the best deal on porridge oats, then it doesn't bode well.
It's maybe best that your political ideologies match up.
10. Lying about their past
Ah yes, that mountain of debt they didn't reveal or the couple of kids that they don't mention until the sixth date. What else are they hiding?
11. Stealing food off your plate
Ok, this is a very personal one. Can you live your life with someone who takes half of your food?
12. Having 'bad' musical taste
It may seem trivial but how much soft rock can you take?
13. Ordering for you in a restaurant
The ultimate in condescension; if they can't trust you to make your own decisions when it comes to food then what else are they going to control in your life?
Online dating should be pretty easy, right? Register, choose your subscription option then start browsing. Message a few people who share you love of fitness and adventure, meet up in person and bam! You've found your soulmate. Sadly, online dating isn't quite so straightforward. This Maverick Matches blog post is dedicated to all of you adventure and fitness-lovers out there who are looking for love but finding that the path is far from smooth. It's time to review your profile and ask yourself if you're making one of these common online dating mistakes.
1. Leaving out vital informationWhen you sign up to Maverick Matches we guide you through an online form containing details about you, your life and your interests, as well as the sort of person you're searching for. Sometimes, skipping through these questions and giving the most basic answers is tempting because, well, it's quite hard. If you're guilty of this then take the time to go back through your profile and add detail to your answers. Giving interesting info will help draw possible dates in and give you something to talk about when you start to message online.
2. But don't say too muchWe all have that one friend who overshares, giving you waaaaaay too much information. Don't be that person. We recommend that you take the time to find the perfect balance between sharing enough information without overwhelming. If you give away too much, what are you going to talk about if you actually meet in person? Entice them in with a few choice bits of info. Sexy, no?
3. No photos or poor photosWould you order a piece of clothing online that you couldn't see a picture of, or for which the photos were terrible? Much as we don't like to judge a book by its covers, we recognise that having fantastic, good quality photographs on your online dating profile is key. Also, those with photos get a lot more clicks and interest than those without. Read our blog here about taking great photographs for your online dating profile on Maverick Matches.
4. Embellishing the truthYou might not consider yourself to be the most exciting person, but telling little fibs or embellishing the truth isn't going to do you any favours in the long run. Your date will find out. So, tell the truth, but tell it in a great way. So you're a librarian by day. No problems. Consider something like 'I get my kicks out of the Dewey Decimal System in working hours but in my free time I get a thrill from dusting off my MTB and kicking up some dust'.
5. Ignoring messagesUh oh. Awkward. Whether you're shy, time-poor, or just don't know what to say, ignoring messages from other Mavericks is not going to help you find love. Invest time in looking at their profile and responding. Even if you don't feel a spark right away then getting to know someone over our online messaging service is just the beginning....
As the clock strikes twelve and you realise you're alone (again?), entering the new year with a positive attitude to dating and relationships can be somewhat challenging. Stop right there! The dawn of a new year is the chance for fresh opportunities and a shiny new approach to your dating life. So, here are our top tips to boost your love life as January begins.
1. Start fresh and let go of the past
Getting hung up with doubts and worries over past relationships is SO last year. Wipe the slate clean with the new year and try to move on. If you're not currently online dating, it's a wonderful time to start - as lots of other singles will be joining up. If you are on a dating site, then take time to review your profile and give it a January refresh to attract all of those potential partners out there.
2. Think positive
So what if you didn't find love in 2018? 2019 is a new year, with so many people out there to meet. Focus on your strengths and the things that make you awesome, and don't let any doubters hold you back!
3. Don't make dating your sole focus
Obsessing over dating and the state of your love life isn't a recipe for overall wellbeing and happiness. Make it part of a balanced lifestyle - along with work, family, friends, hobbies and sport - for a well-rounded, healthy attitude that will make you irresistible.
4. Review what you *really* want
Especially if you've been online dating a while, the things you think you want from a relationship may have changed or altered slightly. Read through your online dating profile with a critical eye and ask yourself whether what you wrote is still aligned with how you feel. This process may also help you clarify your life goals in general - pretty cool, eh?
5. Try something new
Taking up a new hobby or sport will add an extra dimension of fun into your life, especially important during these short January days. You'll have something great to talk about with potential dates too, as well as giving yourself the opportunity to make new friends.
6. Talk to strangers
We know very well that first dates are hard... the whole pressure thing, getting to know someone new, dating etiquette to name a few things that you need to overcome. So, what better way to get into practice than talking to strangers. Try chatting to someone in the coffee shop queue, on the bus or train, or just in the park. You'll boost your confidence, get adept at making small talk and empathising, and also pick up some pretty cool stories and knowledge along the way.
7. Invest time in yourself
The 'January blues' are a very real thing. Rather than wallowing at home in a pit of misery (ok, that might be a little OTT), spend quality time with yourself. Be it enjoying a long bubble bath, getting out to a fitness class, trying a new hobby (see point 5!) or making dates with friends and family, having something to look forward to throughout January could be what you need to remain positive.
Christmas is here! If everyone around you is loved up and you seem to be the only single around, then never fear. We are here to help with our online dating, designed specifically for singles in the UK or love adventure, fitness and action sports. Did you know that Christmas is also one of the busiest times of the year for online dating? Think of all that free time off work... lots of singles spending time on their dating profiles. As well as existing online dating pros, there'll be lots of new singles looking for love. So, how can you make first contact with all these exciting people out there? This is our guide to Christmas-time messaging.Merry Christmas
Simple and seasonal, a straight-forward 'Merry Christmas' is a great way to start a conversation online. Follow up with a few questions about what they're up to and what plans they have to spark some messaging and get to know each other.Be Different
Although wishing a 'Merry Christmas' is a great conversation-opener, you need to stand out from the crowd with a few follow-up statements. Ask them something different, outside the box. How about 'what's the worst Christmas present you received?' or 'what's in the end of your stocking?'. We also advise paying close attention to what they say in their online profile; asking questions that relate to what they've written will show that you are interested and haven't simply sent a blanket message.Happy New Year
The New Year pressure is on... and knowing about someone's ideal New Year plans is a fab way of getting to know someone. Are they up for a big one, which isn't your vibe at all? Or are they family-oriented, something you can get on board with?Bite the Bullet
Time off between Christmas and New Year means that daytime dating is a distinct possibility. If you like what you read and want to meet up in person, arrange to meet somewhere for coffee, a walk (in a safe place), or something else active. Be sure to follow our tips for a safe first date, though.
And, above all, have fun!
Whether you're new to online dating with Maverick Matches or need to refresh your approach, today's blog post is designed to help you enjoy your dating experience and fill you with confidence. We chatted with someone who successfully found love on an online dating site to get her top tips for enjoying online dating, and meeting the person for you.
1. Set yourself rules
Online dating with Maverick Matches lets you search like-minded singles . However, if you're not sure exactly who you are searching for, then filtering through pages of profiles are daunting. Why not set yourself some rules to help you choose? One online dating veteran (who has since found love) shared hers; no topless photos, no profile with 'all group photos', no photos where it looks as if an ex has been cut-off.
2. Post realistic photos of yourself
You know that feeling when you unwrap a ready meal and, disappointingly, it looks nothing like the photo on the box? Well, apply that feeling to online dating. To avoid awkward first dates, make sure that the photos you post are realistic, look like you and are recent. Nobody wants to turn up to a date and be greeted with 'you look nothing like your profile picture'.
3. Reevaluate your search criteria
If you're coming across very few profiles who meet your criteria for a partner then it's time to re-evaluate how you search. You could apply the rules as discussed above, or how about the numbers game where you get in touch with every third profile? You never know who you might meet and the element of fun will reinvigorate your approach to online dating.
4. Try to meet people quickly
Although we always recommend exchanging online dating messages before you meet, and also taking care of your safety and security on a first date, don't let yourself become penpals. Meeting someone with whom you spark quickly will reduce the pressure on that first date as you've not had time to dream up a 'perfect version' of what they are like, and if you don't hit it off in real life, then you've not lost anything and can move on.
5. If you're nervous, meet on a week night
A great tip for first time online daters. If you're feeling anxious and are not sure how your first date will go, try to arrange a weeknight date. This way, you can make your exit early by playing the 'got to go to work early tomorrow' card.
6. Make your profile come to life
Try to weave in some interesting facts about yourself in to your online dating profile. It makes a great conversation starter and gives other singles something to ask about when they get in touch.
7. Know when to move on
If your messages go unanswered, if they cancel dates multiple times, if they send you rude messages... move on. Why waste time when you could be having fun with someone who shares your life interests and wants to get to know you properly?
8. Trust your instincts
Although we vet every profile on Maverick Matches, we need to know if something is wrong. Trust your instinct, and let us know if you ever receive messages or experience behaviour that don't seem quite right.
It's understandable that getting back in to dating after a serious relationship can be overwhelming. Whether you've come out of a long-term relationship, are newly-divorced or bereaved, you might be feeling full of trepidation and nerves at the prospect of meeting someone new. So, we've put together some advice to help you ease your way back in to dating. And, remember, if you register for online dating with Maverick Matches, you can relax knowing that you're connecting with people who share your love for activity and fitness. What better way to start?
1. Make sure you're ready
First up, make sure you've given yourself time to heal and come to terms with the past. Plunging in to online dating as a distraction from what's happened can result in more hurt for you long-term so give yourself space and time to be you.
2. Work out what you want
Are you looking for friendship? Someone to indulge your passion for getting outdoors and getting active, or something more long-term? Once you know what you want, you'll be able to be straight-forward with people you chat with online and ensure that you're on the same wave-length.
3. Be open-minded
Especially if you've enjoyed a relationship with your 'perfect match' in the past, you may have high expectations and a clear idea of the qualities and interests you're looking for in a partner. Try to remember that everyone is unique, and what you really need may be what you think you want. Don't rule out people because they don't necessarily fit in with your preconceived ideas. You never know; you might find yourself having a load of fun because you're open to meeting new people.
4. Be honest
If you start online dating thinking you're ready, but realise you've not had enough time, then that's ok. Be honest with yourself and give yourself permission to have a break from your search. If you've started conversations with people online then it's advisable to let them know you'll be offline for a while, and tell them why.
5. Get your friends and family involved
If it's been a while, your friends and family can give you a massive boost of confidence and support. Let them help you craft your online dating profile, and ask them to take some stand-out photos of you too. Sharing your new adventure with them will help you relax and enjoy it more, too.
6. Have fun
You deserve it!
Does it sometimes feel as if the world of dating is a mindfield of do’s, don’ts and etiquette? And that’s before you’ve even gone on a date. If you’re meeting someone new, and want to know the right etiquette to follow after you’ve had your date, then you’re in the right place. In this blog we’ll explore how to go about texting, or calling, your date after you’ve met up; whether sparks flew or it was more of a flash in the pan type of thing.
At Maverick Matches we recommend swapping phone numbers with your date before you meet up. That way, in case you’re delayed or have to cancel at the last minute, you’ll be able to contact them to let them know. So, bingo, you’ve got their number already, and they have yours….
If the date was a hit
Sparks flew, conversation was non-stop, and their was more than a hint of attraction in the air. You’re up for meeting your date again, so what do you do next? We’re not into playing games, so our dating advice is to let them know. All it needs is a sweet, fun text to say ‘thanks for a lovely time. I’d like to do it again soon.’ Hopefully, they’ll respond with a big ‘yes’. Or, if they’re not into you the same way as you are into them, it’ll prompt them to let you down gently.
If the date was a miss
Even if the date was mutually not good (we’ve all been there – take a look at our dating blog post on how to leave a bad date for all the tips you need on making a graceful exit), it’s still polite to let them know so you can both draw a line under the experience and move on. Again, just a short, simple message such as ‘thanks for meeting with me last night. All the best on your search for the right person’ is kind but clear.
If there’s an uneven attraction
What happens if your date is keen on you, but you don’t feel quite the same way. As in the previous scenario, let them know but be firm. Tempting as it may be to ‘hide’ and ignore them, just be clear and send a text to say ‘thanks but no thanks’. It’s best to avoid getting in to reasons why; what’s the point of drawing out a conversation when it’s going to go nowhere?
In modern life, it’s commonly accepted to go on dates with more than one person. However, if you start to see one person very often and want to seal your relationship by making it exclusive, then it’s polite to let the other people you’ve been seeing know. Leading them on or ignoring the situation won’t make it go away. So, a polite message to let them know that you’ve met someone who you’d like things to go further with, and to wish them well with their search, is all that is necessary.
On paper (or, in online dating terms, on their profile) they seem perfect. They share your interests for activity and fitness, they're open to a new relationship and conversation is flowing easily back and forth as you share online messages. When it comes to meeting them and the spark is still there, you feel that a relationship with them could work. Great! So, ask yourself these questions to work out whether they'd make a good long-term partner. Happy dating!
1. You can be yourself
Ever been in a situation or relationship where you feel as if you're walking on eggshells, censoring what you say, and worrying that your opinions and actions are 'right'. We get you. When you've meet a 'keeper', you'll be able to speak freely, act naturally and just feel comfortable in your own skin. A sign of relationship success!
2. They are kind
Whether it's the waiter, bartender, shop assistant, window cleaner. You'll notice that this particular single treats people well and kindly; no belittling or disrespect involved at all.
3. They suprise you, in a good way
Everyone has some kind of expectations around behaviours, manners, morals and approach to life. If you spend time with your date and find that they are exceeding your expectations and pleasing you, without even trying, then hold on to him or her!
4. They have good friendships or family relationships
There are some people out there who are always a victim, who don't have close relationships with friends or their peers, and it's never their fault. Be wary of this. If you meet someone who has healthy, positive relationships (we all go through ups and downs though, we are realists), then this is a good indicator that a romantic relationship with them would be successful.
5. They want to find out about you and your life
Are they asking question after question, and reacting and really listening to what you're saying? Hurrah! They have a real and deep interest in finding out about you, and who you are. Make sure you reciprocate!
6. You can have a laugh
Flirting takes many forms, from verbal communication to more subtle, physical signals. We find that many couples who are well-suited are able to have fun and tease, without fear of offence. And that's the operative word - 'fear'. That should never, ever come in to your dating vocabulary.
7. They seem content with their life and open to letting you in
We're not saying that you need to have your life 'sorted' before entering in to a new relationship. However, we do find that people who are happy with their lives and can adapt and evolve with grace are usually ready to let someone else in to share that life. And, conversely, are open to trying new elements that are in your life. People who have set patterns or who want to change things, fast, might be a little more tricky in the long-term.
8. They're straight up
No games, no 'keeping you waiting'. They text when they say they will, they call, they check in with you. And you don't have to worry about where you stand. Winner.
The smell of freshly-cut grass, the sound of racquet strings gently twanging, the cheer of the crowd, the endless tubs of strawberries and cream... that's right, tennis season is here! With the start of Wimbledon 2018 we thought it the perfect time to share our top tips, reasons and advice about dating a tennis player.
1. They have a healthy love of the outdoors
Come rain, shine, high wind or hail, nothing will stop them getting out on the court to practise their serves, dropshots and groundstrokes.
2. 'Wildcard' is their watch word
Their dream of Wimbledon will never fade....
3. Your lawn will always be immaculate
Super straight lines? Uniform length of grass? Greener than green can be? Yep, you're dating a tennis player.
4. You'll never lose them
Tennis whites are the outfit of choice. Easy to spot in a crowded room but tricky to wash. You have been warned.
5. Don't mention badminton.
6. Your criteria for holiday accommodation will change
Who cares about the state of the swimming pool? The condition of the courts (grass, clay or hard) is all you need to worry about.
7. Your picnics will always be incredible
Squash, Champagne, strawberries, cream and finger sandwiches. Delish.
8. When they shout 'Love' they're not searching for you
9. You'll learn all about tramlines, breakpoint and aces...
Because you WILL be roped in to mixed doubles.
10. Your dog will love them
Not only will there be masses of tennis balls for them to retrieve, your date will have an excellent throw. Hours of fun in the park, and you just need to sit back and watch.